The one thing standing between me and a potentially amazing job is my license. And for some reason I'm such a self-saboteur that I can't even figure it out. I have to send some information to my supervisor and that's it-yet I still haven't mailed it. Why?? No clue. It is so easy. All I have to do is put some papers in the mail...
Perhaps it's because I don't have the opportunity to actually apply for jobs that I might get without that license. It's a guaranteed way to not feel awful every time I get denied a position or I'm not qualified. That way it's not about me and my qualifications, but really it's about my license. It's such a great excuse. But, damn, it's selfish. A real job would be so great for everything. Better finances, no need to worry about money ever, a way to make my husband proud, using my degree---making myself proud. Yet it seems like something that I find so easy to put off until the next day.
I know that there is only the next day for me...but the next day is the day. Tomorrow. I will mail everything to my supervisor and get everything gathered for this test.
On a hobby note, I want to try sewing tomorrow. I really want to try out the new machine but have never thought it to be ok because I feel guilty having a hobby. I don't deserve a fun hobby that isn't something to better my body or my career because I don't have a real job. Maybe if I had a real job then I would be allowed to have a hobby.
Tomorrow I'm going to mail my licensure information and start sewing and call my next contact...more information tomorrow!
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