Patience

I am 24, married, and have my master's degree.

And I work at JCPenney as a stocking person. Yes, stocking. I graduated in May, got married in July, and have still not managed to find a job. I've had a couple of offers, but they are in no way right for me. However, I've had a chance to meet some pretty awesome people along the way and learn about other people's journeys. One of my professors in grad school (Krieshok) taught me about social networking and how to get a job...he would be proud of this moment where I actually am putting information to use. I have met people through my dad, my mother in law, and each of those has given me at least one other contact through which I've been networking around.

The biggest issue I seem to face in the job search is my lack of self worth. I pictured myself graduating and moving right along into a field that I love and working with people that I truly care about. Instead I find myself feeling more and more like a housewife every day. Most days I don't even leave the house other than to work before dawn. I'm not even sure that I have a wardrobe anymore!! I think I still have some headbands somewhere.... I digress. These days it's all about being patient. My mom recently has been tested in some serious areas of her life and I was just baffled at how she manages to get through it. She said that God's teaching her patience. Geez..way to make me sound like a little pagan hoodlum child. But I got to thinking that maybe she's not so perfect and maybe I'm being tested for patience as well. I assume that I should be asking for more patience daily because I'd hate to be tested in patience in other areas of my life :) Not that I can guarantee patience in one area will not lead to learning lessons in other areas of life, but this one feels pretty big to me. My wonderful husband always encourages me in my search and says that he knows everything is going to be fine. Often I wonder how this can be true. I have completely managed to wrap up my entire self worth in a job. I mean, seriously. How is this even a real life concept? I have lived majority of my life believing that people are so much more than their jobs and that more people should focus less on their jobs and more on their lives, kids, spouses, hobbies, joys, etc...and here I am obsessed with being able to find a job in order to feel self worth.

Go figure.